[In the following passage, by LOVE I mean the emotion of affection and attachment shared by a couple. i.e. a man and a woman. This has got nothing to do with world love...and kindness and compassion towards an animal, plant or a needy person]
We all have various definitions of what love is and what love means to us. Google love quotes and you shall get all what great people have said about love.For most of us it is a sum of all what you have perceived under the Label /Idea 'Love'...Experiences that are yours(visual or physical) or someone else's (word of mouth, visual or may be heard sounds next door).
For some ,"this...yea this...what Gerard Butler does for Hillary Swank is love... (Movie PS I love you) "
Some feel "THIS....what happened between Salman Khan and Bhumika Chawla in Tere Naam is love"... (kya pickhar banaila hai Bantai )
Some feel whatever Shahrukh Khan does for Aishwariya rai in Mohabbatien or for Kajol in DDLJ is love...and we live all our lives hoping for fairy tales to happen to us...to make us believe what’s happening is love. .kya yehi pyaar hai....??
"Most of us get or don’t get love because of how we define love...change your definitions and you might be having it all around you, or may be not "
- Ram Santosh
- Ram Santosh
The way I see it is...the word love is highly over rated...just like the words Commitment, Leadership and Talent What we think is love in the air or love at first sight is actually a very formulated match the column kind of scenario where everything fits in perfectly. I really feel love has got a flowchart to it. A pattern that it usually takes and makes u believe in the end that you are in love. I often hear people telling me (in order to sound good in that moment) that I fell in love looking at his character or her eyes and nothing else. Which I feel is to some extent wrong because the human brain analyzes in more than one attribute.
What you feel like 'Love' is actually the fulfillment of Four Criterion
1. Physical attributes (Physical aspects of the partner. includes eyes,smile,style ...guys here’s the stats part. .Girls I know there are some of you who are like "character is more important" hell yeah it is..how does the idea of marrying an nice ugly guy sound?)
2. Emotional support (yeah guys need it too....)This has to be the biggest criteria that has to fit in for love to work out.If you can't give it...there are others waiting to do show that they can ;)
3. Social support (how your partner presents in public ...specially in front of family and FRIENDS ).How your friends/family perceive your partner is the cause of most hook ups and break ups.
4. Innovation (you can’t buy him a t-shirt on all important days and you can’t get away with the same old chocolate cake and roses on all occasions )This criteria is applicable only when the partners have spend some time enough to call it an affair.
Without even one of the above parameters ,the emotion ' Love 'cannot be sustained for long.Most of break ups or fall outs happen because of lack of either of the above mentioned criteria by one of the partners or both of them.
Love in a way is a very selfish act by the human brain. For we only fall what WE consider is good.
When u like a man/woman what you actually do is connect their attributes to your mental image of your requirements and if the person fits in them...eureka... chemicals are released within the body, you are elated and think that he/she is the one
( e.g.: for boys : has a nice butt, dusky/fair , nice hair,talkative” ...for girls: tall, talented, humorous, wealthy)
It is not because the person is beautiful that you love him/her but it is because they fit in your...Yes YOUR definition of beauty...
How the person objectively is, is never seen.
We crib when they don't love us back(simply put ,when disagreements happen). But aren't you forgetting??...the person was YOUR choice....and slowly with time...YOUR mind starts making newer attributes and criteria for the partner to fit in and when that does not happen....boom bang...fight!
And then you might hear things like "I really miss the person I fell in love with you have changed so much"
Love is a weird thing to fall into ...but I agree its all worth the pain and pleasure.The above are my observations and I need not be right ;)
If there are any new realizations that u found and cannot be classified under any of the above four do let me know
PS: The above ramblings are just my perceptions on love...you can still hold back your fairy tales.