Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Far Away Illusion

On a Sunday evening ,me and a couple of other friends had met at Ratish's place a.We were working on some script to be made into a movie.Within in no time all the actors turned up and we had to get multiple copies of the script for all the actors to rehearse a scene.After half n hour of deciding who will go to stationary shop and get the printouts I was chosen .

I left his house and it started raining and I was told that the Photocopy (xerox) shop was just a few blocks away.I had no vehicle and decided to walk.To my dissapointment  it was a sunday and the store was did that mean I should go back ??
NO I had to get the work done...I thought.
I called up ratish again and asked him where else can I get it...and he mentioned a place that was about 15 minutes walk and I yelled back at him...called him nuts to ask me to walk that far for some printouts.and the rains were driving me crazy.I missed my bike which is now home and not keeping well .

Suddenly something struck me and I remembered a time...when we needed alcohol at nite and we walked the 'same distance' to get some beer from a bar that was close to the photocopy shop.Did I complain back then?? No prizes for guessing ...Hell no.

Why did the same distance generate different emotions in me??
Obviously my mind and the way it functions had a lot to do with the distance.

My sister takes one LONG hour to reach Churchgate to her college and at the same time..she takes JUST one hour to reach fashion street. (Same place )

After having traveled by road upto Leh - Ladakh and back  (6000 Kms +) every road trip seems reachable in just a matter of days.But for most people Me traveling to my college from Goregaon to Airoli (32 kms) is madness.

There are no real distances...only Perceived ones.
"Perceived distances and efforts are indirectly proportional to Interest" -Ram Santosh
More the interest lesser the distance seems.So stop cursing the you who make it seem longer or harder to get.
How far you will go depends upon how(badly)  much you want IT  / HER/ HIM /THEM . 
When you love what you do you loose track of time, the efforts put and distances traveled seem minuscule but when the interest fades that same effort ,that same time and that same distance seems like a lot.
A small paradigm shift can help you cut distances and keep interests alive.Its all about how far you want to make things seem.
Look closely ..both are same length...I still
 felt the lower one longer!

Have nice day and keep coming back to Ram's Realizations :)

Image sources : Google 

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Another Wednesday

Black Friday is now forgotten ..soon the Wednesdays will be forgotten too...
 This is what they call the spirit of Mumbai.
This is where we begin...this is where we has been and will be for god knows how long. ~Ram Santosh

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Love De-coded

[In the following passage, by LOVE I mean the emotion of affection and attachment shared by a couple. i.e. a man and a woman. This has got nothing to do with world love...and kindness and compassion towards an animal, plant or a needy person]

We all have various definitions of what love is and what love means to us. Google love quotes and you shall get all what great people have said about love.For most of us  it is a sum of all what you have perceived under the Label /Idea 'Love'...Experiences that are yours(visual or physical) or someone else's (word of mouth, visual or may be heard sounds next door).

Movies,music and novels have a big role to play in how we perceive love.

For some ,"this...yea this...what Gerard Butler does for Hillary Swank is love... (Movie PS I love you) "

Some feel "THIS....what happened between Salman Khan and Bhumika Chawla in Tere Naam is love"... (kya pickhar banaila hai Bantai )

Some feel whatever Shahrukh Khan does for Aishwariya rai in Mohabbatien or for Kajol in DDLJ is love...and we live all our lives hoping for fairy tales to happen to make us believe what’s happening is love. .kya yehi pyaar hai....??

"Most of us get or don’t get love because of how we define love...change your definitions and you might be having it all around you, or may be not "
Ram Santosh

The way I see it is...the word love is highly over rated...just like the words Commitment, Leadership and Talent What we think is love in the air or love at first sight is actually a very formulated match the column kind of scenario where everything fits in perfectly. I really feel love has got a flowchart to it. A pattern that it usually takes and makes u believe in the end that you are in love. I often hear people telling me (in order to sound good in that moment) that I fell in love looking at his character or her eyes and nothing else. Which I feel is to some extent wrong because the human brain analyzes in more than one attribute.

What you feel like 'Love' is actually the fulfillment of Four Criterion  

1. Physical attributes (Physical aspects of the partner. includes eyes,smile,style  ...guys here’s the stats part. .Girls I know there are some of you who are like "character is more important" hell yeah it does the idea of  marrying an nice ugly guy sound?)

2. Emotional support (yeah guys need it too....)This has to be the biggest criteria that has to fit in for love to work out.If you can't give it...there are others waiting to do show that they can ;) 

3. Social support (how your partner presents in public ...specially in front of family and FRIENDS ).How your friends/family perceive your partner is the cause of most hook ups and break ups.

4. Innovation (you can’t buy him a t-shirt on all important days and you can’t get away with the same old chocolate cake and roses on all occasions )This criteria is applicable only when the partners have spend some time enough to call it an affair.

Without even one of the above parameters ,the emotion ' Love 'cannot be sustained for long.Most of break ups or fall outs happen because of lack of either of the above mentioned criteria by one of the partners or both of them.

Love in a way is a very selfish act by the human brain. For we only fall what WE consider is good.

When u like a man/woman what you actually do is connect their attributes to your mental image of your requirements and if the person fits in them...eureka... chemicals are released within the body, you are elated and think that he/she is the one 
( e.g.: for boys  : has a nice butt, dusky/fair , nice hair,talkative” ...for girls: tall, talented,  humorous, wealthy)

It is not because the person is beautiful that you love him/her but it is because they fit in your...Yes YOUR definition of beauty...
How the person objectively is, is never seen.

We crib when they don't love us back(simply put ,when disagreements happen). But aren't you forgetting??...the person was YOUR choice....and slowly with time...YOUR mind starts making newer attributes and criteria for the partner to fit in and when that does not happen....boom bang...fight!

And then you might hear things like "I really miss the person I fell in love with you have changed so much"

Love is a weird thing to fall into ...but I agree its all worth the pain and pleasure.The above are my observations and I need not be right ;)
If there are any new realizations that u found and cannot be classified under any of the above four do let me know

PS: The above ramblings are just my perceptions on can still hold back your fairy tales.

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