Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Other side of the Road

I was walking my way back home from college after another exam from Hub mall to Goregaon station (east).
Major part of the road to the station is a single lane road and very village like.The roads are broad enough to let just one big truck and a bike pass together.In case of two trucks coming in opposite directions one has to wait till the other driver shows off his driving skills.Most of the road is dug up at the sides in the pretext of putting some cables into the road.Now I don't want to stress on this point and curse the BMC for it..there are plenty of other bloggers doing this job.

The road is a bit difficult to walk on as you have vehicles honking behind your ass often.Most of the times you keep looking back to see whether the horn was of a car,bike or a truck.and since the road is so narrow you would have to be really careful not be kissed by some truck .I realised every 10 seconds i had to look back once to make sure no vehicle would run me over.
After a while I realized how stupid i was being.I just crossed to the other side of the road...and started walking..
Now I had traffic flowing towards me ..and this was much easier..I dint have to worry about some thing unexpected from behind  I could see whats coming to me
All I had to do was walk on the other side of the road and face the traffic head on.. since it is easier to face incoming traffic than walk with traffic in your direction.

This led to some realizations ,

1.We are, most of the times on the wrong side of the right path ..and we complain of the path being wrong.
2.Problems cannot be avoided ..the more you avoid and run away from them the more they are gonna honk into your ears and kick your ass..face them head on and they shall soon pass away.
3.Focus more on  problems of the future (ahead) than problems of the past (behind) ,you'll move a lot faster

Taking the road less traveled (as said by Robert Frost) good but if u have no other route..remember every road has two sides just walk on the other side.

You might be on the wrong side of the right road

If its a bull grab it by its horn
not to run,but to fight you are born
-Ram Santosh

Monday, December 13, 2010

What we Had is What we Want

 When we were kids :

1..We could communicate even without proper words... we had real emotions
2.We had more of hugs..(even from strangers)
3.We shed tears not for what we lost...but for what we wanted
4.We dint have complex emotions like fear,guilt.cheated,complexes...we were either happy or  hungry
5.We didn't care what the world thought about us (dunia kya sochegi)
6.We spoke to ourselves and could do that all day .(When was the last time you did that? )
7.We dreamed and day dreamed...till we were told its a bad habit and we should get serious and real.
8.We had stronger bones( and loads of them)
9.We demanded things and got them ...without negotiating or worrying about putting across the right words.
10.When we laughed everyone laughed with us .
11.When we cried the world responded
12.Silly things weren't stupid...we were allowed to be stupid at times.
13.Didn't have to worry bout dressing sense..everything we wore looked good on us
14.We were encouraged to stare and play with the kid of the opposite sex ,wherever and  whenever and our parents enjoyed it.And later.......(I don't need to talk about this)
15.We had loads of adjectives to our name
16.We had fun filled birthdays even without alcohol
17.We never got drunk but were still on a high
18.We hardly thought about what we didn't have,we loved our toys like hell
19.We concentrated so much on the games we played
20.We were appreciated for every little thing, scolded but loved as soon as we curled our lips
21.We weren't naturally scared of bhoot...until our parents made us scared for their benefit (udar mat ja bhoot hai. And loads of other fears)
22.We weren't scared of the dogs (bhow bhow) till someone told us ..they bite real hard..and have to be kept away shooing them away
23.Preschool scores never mattered ...but then our world revolved around marks and grades [ I don't even remember them now...(after my 12th I forgot my tenth scores),no one asks my twelfth scores now...slowly..I 'll forget one day about my engineering aggregate ..]
24.We didn't care if we were rich or poor
25.We were given gifts ..people came to meet us..all we had to say was thank you ..and not worry about what to give in return
 (there  can be more ,but that's all I remember contribute in the comments)

.All people remembered you is for how much you could love, how many smiles you could give, how well you could keep your toys, how well you could remember them (not formulas), how well you could sing and how bad you could dance.

We had the perfect lives as kids..then somehow we lost (we were made to lose) it all..and as we grew older..we are in pursuit of finding those same things again..
Life's weird but this is how it is
reading backwards these are what we die for when we become older..

Our greatest problems and fears are cultivated by ourselves or by our up bringing...if only there was a school to Unlearn (fears,beliefs ,myths ) I would love to be its student.
-Ram Santosh

Monday, December 6, 2010

Sound Vs Light - Words vs Behavior

I had a walk in the morning at about 4 am and the street lights were off.After a while they suddenly switched on and illuminated the whole of Link Road.What happened after its illumination and further rumination of thoughts is what I shall describe ahead.

We all know that for our eyes to be able to see any object, light has to fall on it and has to reflect from the object to our eyes. After the road got illuminated I could see a tall man at a distance. I knew that if he tried to speak to me from there I would not be able to hear him. But trusting my visuals my mind had already made perceptions about him.He was slouched , in tattered clothes and walked in a zig zag manner. So before I could even properly see his face..his body language communicated to me that he was drunk and was poor.

That's all that happened at the road.What happened later really put my mind to work.

I could see the person coz light reflected from him to my eyes. Light travels at 3 X 10^8 m/s .
At the same time sound ,I have read in the 8th standard textbooks ,travels at 340 m/s.
So technically light is 8 x 10^5 times faster than sound..(^ means raised to the power of )
which brought to me to developing this new Philosophy

" What you speak, travels at the speed of sound,
   What you seem ,travels at the speed of light"
                                                                        ------© Ram Santosh

Body language suddenly made a lot of sense..
Albert Mehrabian (currently Professor Emeritus of Psychology, UCLA), has become known best by his publications on the relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages. His findings on inconsistent messages of feelings and attitudes say that
1.Our words comprise of only 7 % of the communication involved
2.Voice tone makes up for 38%   of communication
2.More than 55% communication comprises of gestures,emotions,feelings and attitude.

The simple logic that visuals are much faster than sound is enough to prove to us that people analyze our behavior first and our words later.
So no matter how good and qualified we are with our words if our actions aren't quality ..bad impressions are made..
Ralph Waldo Emerson's line:
"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say" has had a huge impact on me and really made me think if the way I communicate is correct..

No one really cares how much u know until they know how much you care. So treat people well because that is what is seen .It is not only about how you look but about how you maintain a good attitude,a pleasant expression, wear that lovely smile, be warm towards people and be subtle with your gestures. because these travel faster and convey faster to the people than what you speak can convey

Of course good speech is important..but how you communicate non verbally has a larger impact..

So remember that you are seen , observed even before you speak .A good conversationalist or a charmer is one who uses all the forms of communication I.e Verbal, Vocal & Visual. aspects properly

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Evolve Please - Be human

 I hope Salman Khan doesnt Sue me for using that Title

The following post is a follow up of my previous post Stop Being So Scared. One of my readers took some time for some appreciation and gave me this valuable story, which I thought should be shared with all.
Thank you Janaki.

Image courtesy:

In Janaki's words :
"I'm glad I do not listen to my Mom all the time, or without even trying, her fears would become mine. It reminds me of that story of keeping monkey's in a cage and keep bananas on top of a you know that story?

It was an experiment!A few monkey's were put in a cage and Every time a monkey would try to climb up the ladder to eat a banana, water would be sprayed on other monkeys.Each one of them tried once and they all got irritated of the water.After a while,a new monkey was introduced in the cage and every time the new monkey tried to climb, the others pulled him down because they thought the water would be sprayed, even when it wasn't.

Even when the old monkey's were removed and the only new monkey remained with a newer companion, the new monkey stopped the newer monkey from climbing even without knowing the real reason.

Well! That's our society too!
Those who get scared and ask others to be scared are the monkeys in our lives! So don't be a monkey,be a human! :-) "

Janaki is an avid blogger.visit SyncroStation for  talks about Matters that Matter to her.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Stop Being So Scared

"Have u signed your Journals ? " Screamed Sam (Name changed ..LOL !)
Me: in bewilderment .."why so soon?"
Sam :"dude !  submissions are coming up , they'll screw you if you don't get things signed"
Me : "well my attendance is low they have every right to screw me, but why are you scared ? you've got good attendance"
Sam : (now perplexed).."yea! but I dont know, I'm just scared ,how can you not be its the 'Submissions' "
Me: okay I know its a big thing in an engineers life but what are u scared about? I stil dont get it.
Sam: You need to be serious in life Ram, You should be scared about certain things.
Me: Being Scared makes u Impaired ! ( I had one of my eureka moments after I made up this statement,
for that moment you feel super good about yourself for coming up with something like that  and secretly pat yourself)
Sam left, still thinking  I was a nut and I'm sure he never understood my statement .

There are these Scared Sams everywhere..loitering in college corridors worrying about assignments, midterm exams,Prelim exams, Library cards, Project work, Home work ,Drawing sheets, Classes, Signatures, Grades, phew endless list!
There are similar Scared Sams in workplaces who find something to be scared about at all times.

I just re winded my life and thought about the things that I was scared of , I wondered whether they really matter today..and to my surprise none of the things I was scared about really helped me .Being scared is such a waste of time

Pre-school : I was scared of  Mrs.D'souza (she was a sweet female is what I realized after primary school) coz she used to make huge eye balls at kids who pee in their pants and most of the times her fear is what made them pee. Was the fear worth it?? I could have spent time much better but not worry about how not to pee in class.

Primary school: Scared of Vira teacher ,Scared of the Pranks I couldnt stop playing ,Scared of remarks in the school calender..which would cost us our dear marks . (Today I realize its all my pranks and my remarks that has made my primary schooling life worth re-collecting)

Secondary school : Scared of Desai sir( a wonderful person)..for he used to beat us up for mischief ! Today its fun talking about it. Back then guys where scared when Desai started removing his rings from his right hand fingers and put them into his left hand fingers..(LOL that was his signal ...I'm Angry)!

Then I was scared in the ninth ,coz people told me ninth is tougher than tenth .The Maths chapter SURDS still sends a chill down my spine!

Then came the tenth boards . I was scared for my scores .I thought they really mattered in life!
Whether I'l get a good college or not,whether I'll be able to take up science or not.Family prestige issue..blah blah bullshit

Some teacher had told me I He'll change his name if i got more than 60% and I was shit would I get admission .what would I tel my friends .??(I ended up geting 80%)

Scared No More!

Junior college- Scared of  doing practicals correctly, attending classes for boards in 12th ,scared of what girls would think of me ( no one even looked at me , but I was stil scared) ..Scared of screwing up in my Boards...I was so scared ...I did screw up..then  I thought it was the end of the world..I could never be an Engineer.. but then Common Entrance Test happened and I scored decent enough to get an Engineering seat

In Engineering people are scared about their scores, grades, impressions, scared of their girlfriends/boyfriends ,scared whether they'll get a high paying job, Scared whether they'll get settled before they marry...damn the list is endless...

Half of our lives are spent in being scared about something...if we are so scared where are we gonna get the time to enjoy simple moments.
We are more afraid of that unseen monster than we are some of the people we let into our lives.The truth is the monster doesn't exist..parents and teachers have always used fear to motivate us to  do better which is so wrong, and now being scared is just another habit.

Its okay to get low scores, its okay to get punished at times..its okay to be surprised but don't be scared
Being scared makes you Impaired- ©Ram Santosh
When  was the last time you did something without being scared ?
Have fun every moment ,be whacky ,sneak out, do something you've never done before
Life's too short to be scared and live with it.

Dare to be not scared and life will be much better!

I remember one of my status updates on Facebook:

Life is race ,true,but you run your own
you decide the Start line n you decide the Finish
you don't Win or Lose till you think you have
For you can lose only when you run somebody else's race!
Competition may be necessary...but Commuting is far more important Run your own race

So dont be scared, be who you are
smile at yourself you're a superstar! -R.A.M
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